So, it was you!
by Dark-Fluffy-Gal
Summary: After a near fatal blow from Nnoitra, Grimmjow went into a deep sleep for years, only to wake up to becoming a Captain to a Hollow and Soul Reaper squad, Ichigo missing, lost memories and Grim being kicked out into the Human world to find him! GrimxIchi
1. Awake

I could hear it.

_Bad-ump_

There it was again. Was it…my heart?

_Bad-ump…_

Wait…I'm already dead.

So then…Here I, Grimmjow, lay in waste for other hollows to feast upon me. _My_, how the tables have turned. So, as punishment from God, do I have to experience death another time? Until I am no more? _Ha_. Would be damn right fitting for everything I've done…My body…feels so very heavy, limp- as if I'd been hit by a bad case of polio- I just couldn't move. I was dead…Dead as a door nail. The beating must be but a figment of the imagination. Like it would matter if I were alive or not. I've done nothing but kill, eat and _exist_, I know, very productive you might say. But it's not like I haven't been through the drill before, dying that is.

The first time I died, ha, I remember…almost…_Nothing_. I recall, hardly, a thing from my death experience, but I do have one good memory. A memory that actually made me want to be human again, only if such a thing were possible, just to find the person in my memory. Although, if they saw me like this, they'd scream bloody murder and run away flailing their arms in the process_. I am a monster_. There I said it. I'm a Goddamn monster. I felt only like this when I was a wondering soul, fresh off the chain, killed by God only knows what- It was unbearably lonely; and of course, you guessed it, to compensate my loneliness, I'd fight other souls, scaring them off, and even haunting random stores, homes, but sometimes I'd visit _that _person…I wanted to talk to him so _damn_ badly, but I knew he couldn't see me, nor could he hear me. So what did it matter?

This boy, I remember, he was tall, skinny, hotheaded, had orange hair and bore hazel eyes…sound familiar? _Ha_, that dammed _Ichigo_; he just had to look just like him. His eyes, those God dammed eyes had the same haughty look that made you feel inferior. Yes, both he and Ichigo harbored the same eyes. No wonder I wanted to kill him so badly. What a laugh. He ended up killing me instead. Well, once he beat me…there really wasn't anything in me to continue on- I wanted him dead so badly, yet I didn't. Those damn eyes kept me from doing so. Then Nnoitora cut me down…I died right? After I closed my eyes, things became dark…so then, am I dead? Wait…that _filth_ Ichigo saved me. He _saved me_…Damn him. I didn't ask to be saved. "I didn't ask to be saved." I heard my words fall from my lips- Wait…I spoke? What the hell?!

"Open your eyes." I hear all of a sudden- and such a dammed annoying voice no less. Who the hell could it be? Can't I be let alone? I'm dead so, fuck off already- I mean really, how could a dead guy open his eyes? But wait…I am not dead. I just fucking spoke. So I'm_ alive_ right?

"Master Grimmjow." The voice rang in my head like a thousand pin needles stabbing my ear drums, this voice…Nel? Why the hell was _Nel _screaming in my ears?

"What?!" I finally growled, my eyes still having trouble finding the strength to open; my body was numb…each nerve tingled and sparked back- good, no polio here. I could feel my fingers; I could feel my toes; I could feel…feel…what the?! "What the hell is that?!" I hissed feeling something sopping wet on my chest- Move hand, arm, shoulder! Move! Move God dammit move! With the words of motivation, my shoulder, my arm, and my hand began to move, only to touch something slimy that was doused all over my chest. "What…the _FUCK_?!"

"What's' wrong Master Grimmjow? I was only healing you with my spit! It has healing powers!" She replied happily while laughing in my ears yet again. Damn, I was going to kill this little girl, "I was just trying to heal your wounds!"

"Oh, so help me God…when I AM healed I will KICK YOUR ASS ALL THE WAY TO THE HUMAN WORLD!!" My voice was back to normal, all arrogant and authoritive-like, but I couldn't really back it up with my body- Hell, all that moved was my right arm. Great. This was going to take forever, and I'd probably forget about kicking her ass before then; either that or she'd run away.

I let out a sigh before I began to think again; about the boy that remained in my memories…Now that I have my own live back and all…I can do whatever the hell I want (not caring if Aizen is dead or alive I really don't care). Maybe, I could look for him. I laughed out at that, what were the chances I'd find him? I couldn't even guess how many years I'd been dead before turned hollow…but those memories were not to be explored at the moment…most of them I'd rather forget. But, the boy, damn if I could remember his _name_, he and I were inseparable. We were like brothers…Too bad I had to die so quickly. I hope he grew up all right…hell- Why not look for him or his grandchildren or whatever was down the line. I'd look, but, I would have to keep my hopes down. Things weren't very bright in that department.

As I waited, I could feel my reiatsu slowly regain as I remained there, I really didn't notice if Nel left or stayed at my side. My limbs gradually began to gain back the ability to move, so, I sat up; my eye lids still tightly shut. The hardest of things to move, was the easiest. What an ironic twist. I'm a freaking Espada reduced to this. "Nel…" I grunted, hoping she was there-

"Y-yes Master Grimmjow?" She answered, her voice shaky.

"Is…Aizen dead?" I could feel the coldness in my voice, and my bitter hatred for the other man made my face cringe in disgust. "Well?"

She was silent for a few moments, which made me want to kill her all the more, but with out my sight, that'd be a bit difficult. But there wasn't anything that Grimmjow couldn't do. Right? I laughed at the thought internally before she replied: "He's dead…Ichigo killed him."

Authors' note:

This is my first Fanfiction! :D So, if it is good say so, if it is bad, say so! Help me to help you! Chapter one is up~!

Enjoy kiddies~

~Corie


	2. Captain

Chapter 2: Captain

Did I hear right? Ichigo…the orange haired idiot that beat me killed Aizen?! Whoa, whoa back up here. How long was I out of commission? What happened while I was out of the game? Oh God. Or…Oh Satan or whatever. Damn who cares? I mean really- I get seemingly knocked out and then I wake up and BAM! Aizen dead and everything back to normal. Or at least it seemed that way. BAM! There was the after shock of the news… Was I the only Espada left? Who was left…if anyone? Well, it's not like I care or anything… "Nel…you aren't lying to me are you? IF you are. You are D-E-A-D." I emphasized every letter, every syllable, and every…every everything with my bared fangs; unfortunately my eyes hadn't opened yet- so instilling terror was a wee bit on the difficult side, but I think I got the message through yeah? That makes sense right? No? No. Right…right. But back on topic- I already knew Nel's answer. Aizen was dead. There was something about the aura of Las Noches…it seemed lighter- It felt oddly calm. That doesn't make any sense. This place had a hollow infestation- these things were like roaches, except they had the ability to kill you and harvest your soul like carrot cake. Yum.

I've never had carrot cake…

"No…I'm not lying!" Her voice shook with fright, I could hear her trying to scoot away from me, she wasn't telling me everything. She was hiding something- What could it be? Oh, maybe everyone's dead? I missed a birthday party? What? I began to get fidgety and annoyed- damn, what was she hiding?

"Nel- what aren't you telling me?" I heard my voice grow shaky as if I was worried. HA! Me worried? About what? That was it. About…what. What was I scared of? What did I worry over? The image of that damned Ichigo could help but pop up in my mind- why him of all people? I spat out the name 'Ichigo' before wondering again about what Nel wasn't telling me. Damn…I have been asleep and plus couldn't see. So who knows…I could have sprouted another limb for all I knew- Yeah, that was it.

The smaller ex-Espada gulped and then began to cry loudly, "I'm sorry Lord Grimmjow! I didn't mean to make you angry! I-I-I…" She began to sniffle as the snot and such began to droop out of her nose. Damn! What the HELL was this girl and where did all these tears and snot come from?! They DIDN'T stop!

I had to put her down, due to the risk of getting that crap all over me again. That was NOT going to happen. "Calm the hell down. Damn you're irritating." I could feel my nerves tightening and my head pulsing- damn right painful. This _thing_ next to me didn't really help the pulsing or the tightening. "Nel, just tell me- its not like I'm going to kill you in a fit of rage or anything."

That comment only made the girl whimper, but she began to speak any way, "Well…Lord Grimmjow- you've been asleep for several years." Her voice was soft at the last part. It confused me. How could I be asleep for several years…? And how long was several years? Shit. Well, it wasn't like I was human or anything- food and water weren't really at the top of a to-do list or anything, but for years? Who had been taking care of me? Even as an Espada, not going with out eating that long could result in death. So someone-

Of course my first response was a "How the fuck did I sleep that long?" Kind of response, but wouldn't you have a reply similar to that? "And how did I stay alive?" After that I was quiet for quite some time. I didn't really know what to think or do- What could I do? I was still, at the moment, blind and dumb about the entire situation.

Nel was quiet too- She didn't want to take the chance in pissing me off, which was a good idea- due to the headache I was experiencing at the moment. I didn't want to deal with anymore bull shit. I was ready to move on. But shit, nothing is ever that easy huh? Well, at least I can wallow in self pity for a while. That's always good huh?

"Well, Master Grimmjow- Ichigo has been making sure you've been taken care of." Nel didn't want to say it. I could tell. She didn't want to say it because I didn't want to hear it. Of course that damned Ichigo would interfere with me. But why would he? I attempted to kill him numerous of times…so why go through all the trouble of keeping me alive? What did he want a rematch? Ha. Who am I kidding?

"Why?" I muttered with bitterness. He shouldn't have helped me. I didn't deserve helping…I should have died. Damn him. Damn him. Damn him!

The little ex-Espada sighed, she was just as clueless wasn't she, "I don't know…" She said softly- By then we were both quiet…not really knowing what to say.

"Nel…" I finally asked; breaking the silence that surrounded us, "Should I have died?" I don't really know why I asked her- or why it would matter how she answered. But for some reason, I wanted to know what someone else thought about me- then again I don't know if I should have really asked Nel. I attempted killing her at least once or twice right? Maybe asking her wasn't the brightest of my ideas…

The girl remained quiet for a few moments as she thought of her answer- She sighed gently before replying to me awaiting question, "You're not all bad Master Grimmjow…You weren't like the others." That was her answer. Heh. Smart girl, she answered, yet didn't answer.

"Not all bad?" I couldn't help but laugh at the comment-"We will see how _bad_ I am whenever I can open my eyes again!" I joked, but really- I guess I was happy about the fact that she didn't say something like: 'yes you should have died a gruesome death.'

Nel stayed with me until my eyes finally opened- It was amazing, being able to see again that is. For a while I thought my eyes would never open again…that thought was scary. Ha. Scary- who would ever think I'd be saying something was scary. God...I am losing my edge. Hell, I have been asleep forever- give me some credit. Damn. My body seemed normal- it hadn't changed at all. The only thing was getting my limbs to move was a bit difficult. It was as if they were in strike about helping out the boss of it all. Me. "Look at me. This is disgraceful." It was. Here I was: Espada number Six having trouble moving his body parts. I could just see all the other Espada (if they were alive that is) 'loling' in my face. Well, they are all dead, so put that in your pipe and smoke it.

I finally began to look around my surroundings…I was in Las Noches- In my room no less…So, Ichigo, for years, has been coming to this place to my room to take care of me? Dammit why? (Wait…he didn't try to take advantage of me did he…? Oh cripes…) I shuddered at that thought…hopefully that was just a horrid idea that had no reality to it. Hopefully. I had to shake my head to get the image of that stupid orange haired brat out of my head. Well…it wouldn't be that bad…STOP right there Grimmjow! You were not gay five seconds ago!

Getting up, I left the thoughts behind as I strode from my room- The place was buzzing with life and people…not just Arrancar but…Shinigami. What the hell?! Why where Soul Reapers here? This wasn't making any sense! "What the…" I begin to growl- I was greeted with shouts and gasps. "Captain Grimmjow! You're awake!" Some of them bowed and others tilted their heads in respect.

I gapped in confusion. What was going on? Mortal enemies were working together- in enemy territory no less and them calling me 'Captain?'

"Sir…" One of the Soul Reapers came up to me; her black kimono had a patch on it- like everyone else's. Her eyes went to the patch on her arm, "Ah- You've been unconscious all this time- forgive me. This patch symbolizes that I, we, work here. We are a special group that are stationed here to keep the hollow in check." She smiled slightly, trying to give the impression she was happy, but I could easily see she didn't care either way.

I crossed my arms as I tried to put the pieces together, "You all keep calling me Captain. Why? Who made me Captain of this squad?" I mean really- who the hell would place a position on a sleeping man?

Another member approached me, an Arrancar; she put her hands on her hips before stating, quite bluntly: "Kurosaki-kun made you Captain, now get to work."

Author's note:

Ah~ Another Chapter up! Oh, that reminds me, yes there was nothing to do with the boy from his memories this time, but he WILL show up in due time :D

So enjoy~ Things will start heating up pretty soon! :D So, tune in kiddies for the next chapter titled: The Human World


	3. The Human World

Disclaimer: I do NOT own any rights to Bleach and its characters and what not!

Authors note: Okay, some of you are probably wondering- When the M rating will come into effect. Well, soon my kiddies soon. Haha- Oh and the boy he was thinking about in Chapter 1 will be mentioned again- Oh and also I wanted to let you know I'm sorry for such a delay in this chapter. More will come quicker I promise! (I do like comments though! Let me know what you think 'kay? :] )

Chapter 3: The Human World

Staring down at the other Arrancar, I could only take her word; what the hell was Kurosaki thinking? My gaze going from her to the patch again, I could only swallow the bile that was rising in my throat, what happened to Ichigo…? My mind began to wonder…if he wasn't here then where was he? "That patch…" I felt my voice trail, the sinking feeling you get whenever bad news was afoot fell onto my shoulders like a lead weight. A giant ass lead weight I might add. The damned feeling continued to fester and fester in the silence before the lady Arrancar spoke again-

"This patch represents your squad; Captain Grimmjow- That is why this symbol of the tiger was placed upon it. Kurosaki-kun deemed it necessary." The girl had no humor lining her features, but it was intended. At least I thought- Ichigo would be a smart ass about me being as such. Ha. Ha. Ha. What a giggler Ichigo…what a giggler.

"Deemed it necessary did he?" My voice was in a dull tone- my thoughts were not in my words, I couldn't help but wonder about Ichigo. This Arrancar continued to speak about Strawberry in the past tense, but why? Something must have happened to that annoying little punk. Again why should I care? Why am I thinking so hard about it? That hindrance shouldn't have spared me. He shouldn't have saved me. He shouldn't have taken care of me. And damned he shouldn't have made me Captain of a squad. What the hell was that brat thinking? "Why the hell am I Captain?" I thought aloud, forgetting about the bodies that were all scattered about me- being that I was finally awake and all. "And where the hell is that damned Ichigo?"

"Sir…" The lady Arrancar began, "Kurosaki-kun is…" Her voice began to trail as she her eyes shifted from mine to the tiled floors. The first thought that came to mind was 'oh shit he's dead' the way she and everyone else looked.

"What she means is- Captain Grimmjow, is that he is away." A male cut in, a Shinigami with long golden hair and a scar across his left eye, as he spoke he fidgeted with his hands nervously, "He was in charge of this squad until he-"

Again another person cut in, this one a tad more flustered than the previous two, "He left to go on vacation!" It was a younger member- she giggled, trying to not show her uneasiness about something. Something that everyone knew, but didn't want myself to know of course, that I was sure of. What was it about Ichigo that they didn't want me to know of? If he wasn't dead then why be so flustered over anything else? What was the issue here? I'd be damned if they thought this little charade was enough to throw me off-

"What he HELL is going on? Tell me where Ichigo is!" I growled irritably, my patience with these buffoons was grating on my not so present nerves. First a drooling, sobbing Nel wakes me up and then as a welcoming committee I get this. What else could go wrong? Growling again, I knew that much could go wrong- especially with the whole Shigami and Arrancar business. How long has this peace been between the two, once mortal enemies? It didn't seem right…Arrancar that weren't Espada needed guidance from a higher, more powerful one. So where was he? She? My eyes darted about the room, no on in particular stuck out to me as the one. Was it me then…? Was that the reason that damned Ichigo put me here? To govern them? I am no baby sitter I might add…there was no way this was going to work. Ha. I could barely take orders from Aizen let alone anyone else. Now that I was to call the shots…Could I really be a good guy?

Shit. I hadn't thought of that before…The good guy act. I wasn't like that damned Strawberry! I wasn't good. Good and Grimmjow were never to be used in the same sentence…Shit. I just ruined that didn't I? "Well?" My voice rose in frustration. The damned fools continued to twiddle their thumbs and not answer me. "Its and ORDER!" I finally hissed, not exactly liking the fact I had to use my new rank. I didn't want to be a good guy...Being bad was Grimmjow's thing. And I liked it.

One of the squad members finally stepped forward, "Is it really that hard to answer him everyone?" A man with no sword began as he fixed his glasses that held blue eyes behind them. His robes were white…yet he bore not mask fragment- but he wasn't a soul reaper. Wait…no…it couldn't be.

"Four eyes…?" I was in disbelief; it was four eyes- the wimpy looking Quincy boy from before! Then again, now that years have passed he didn't look so wimpy any more…He stood tall (almost as tall as me)- his body was built but not Arnold Swartzheneger built by any means…I was impressed that he had any muscles at all. His eyes looked colder, wiser- his hair longer and pulled back into a mini pony-tail at the base of his neck.

"Your Lieutenant has a name, Captain Grimmjow." He responded, his voice was slightly deeper from the previous years…this was all too weird for that nerdy pip squeak. It didn't seem right. "It's Uryru Ishida." He answered before I asked- but then again, I wasn't really going to ask because I couldn't give a rats' ass what his name was. I just wanted to know what the hell Ichigo was doing and where the hell he was.

"You never answered my question." I stated bluntly as I crossed my arms. Why couldn't' anyone just come out and tell me something like 'Hey Ichigo is at Hooters!' or 'Hey Ichigo is at blah blah blah' I really didn't' care where he was- I just wanted to find him and give him hell for saving me and putting me as Captain of this damned squad.

The boy's lips curved into a grimace, his eyes then closed, a few more seconds past as the air about him grew more chilling- "Ichigo is currently in the human world, Grimmjow…" he paused before continuing, his cold blue eyes now glaring back at me, "His current where-abouts are unknown. He has kept a low profile after he defeated Aizen. He hasn't appeared much since."

"I see…" Was all I murmured for the time being. My thoughts were now swirling. They didn't' know where he was? How was that possible? This four-eyes was one of his best friends right? So what was the deal? Why was Ichigo hiding from them? And was he really in the Human World? "So many damned questions…" I muttered inaudibly as I pondered on my next move, until it hit me…Ichigo had been taking care of me all this time…so he had to be here recently right? "Four-eyes…When was the last time Ichigo was here?" I grinned slightly noticing such a thing…I wasn't just a fight-happy dumbass all the time.

The Quincy took a deep breath, his words were ice as they came out, "Let's speak of this else where." And just as he said, he began to walk away. Annoyed and still wanting answers I had to follow him. As I strode with him, the other members stared after us; it wasn't until we turned a corner that they began to go about their business with whatever they were doing.

Opening a door, the Quincy walked in- only having it open until I was in the room. He then closed it with a slam. "Why he put _you _in charge I'll never know." He leaned against the wall, his eyes still on me like a wolf and its prey. I didn't like that look in his eye one bit…it was damn right pissing me off.

I tried to hold in my annoyance for this Quincy, I needed answers- "So are you going to tell me where he is? And when he was last here…? Nel told me that he took care of me-"

I was cut off by laughter from Uryu, "Ha…The last time he was here was a year ago in the least. After he left he made me promise to watch over you. He's been missing since, Espada." He spat the title at me with a slight growl, "He told me, Orihime, Renji, Rukia, everyone not to look for him…" The Quincy's voice trailed, softening as he continued his tale, "He was…I mean he. Forget it…If you want to find him, fine. Go. It will benefit both me and you if you do. I want to know how he is and where he is…"

"I will find him, that damned brat." I could only mutter- my mind was currently occupied with the wondering thoughts of what had happened to Ichigo. Four-eyes refused to say anything more…I knew if I asked I'd only piss him off and then I'd never get ANY damn answers…so fuck it. It had been a long ass day.

"Humph, I'll run this place while you're gone. Hell, you have been out of commission for several years- a few days or weeks shouldn't change much. I'll take care of everything."

"Fine, I'll go now-" I began before Uyru sighed, "What?"

"You need a gigai, Grimmjow…One has already been prepared for you- it is in your room." He then opened the door quickly, and walked out, "Find him." Was the last thing he stated as he strode away. I was happy that he was finally out of my hair. Stupid Quincy…But why pull me aside to give me no answers, but just more questions? Honestly…I thought I was finally going to find out what the hell was going on and now I have a whole new mission to find the one called Ichigo. What the hell was with that? Now I had become someone's errand boy. Great. Just fucking great.

Back in my room I found the gigai and a glove with a flaming skull…I eyed it curiously- what the bloody hell was this damn thing? Why in the hell did I need it? "Sorry sir- we ran out of mod souls for now…that will have to do." A girl Soul Reaper walked into my room with nothing but a little knock to announce her arrival. All you have to do when you are in your gigai is basically punch yourself in the stomach." She smiled a toothy smile as if nothing were wrong with punching myself in the gut.

"Uhhh….okay?" I answered. Ready to leave. "Anything else I need to know?"

"Nothing more Captain! Now go go go!" She grinned handing me my sword and my new patch. "That's so the other squads won't kill you!" Again with the smiles and innocent happiness…it was rather weird, but again I only nodded. It was probably due to me being an Arrancar. Humph, so much for the attempts of tranquility.

Getting in the gigai (with the help of that odd girl) I grimaced…I was now…human. Human again- it was a feeling long forgotten. Looking at myself in a mirror within the room, I couldn't help but remember the orange-haired boy…the only thing from human-hood that I could remember.

"The human world awaits…" I muttered to myself while opening the gate to the human world just like I had done years ago…though it took some time to do of course (due to the fact I was rather rusty). "I'm coming Ichigo…" Stepping through the gate, it closed behind me once it did, another door opened before me.

"I'm back!"

Authors' note: That's it for this chapter kiddies~! Sorry it took so long to get up! Lol

Leave a review or what not it makes me

Btw, I'm thinking of writing another FF any suggestions?

Next chapter:_ Target: Ichigo_


	4. Target:Ichigo

Disclaimer: I don't own anything! I just own the ideas is all!

Author's note: I just came out with another story! Also, another is on the way so go check em' out if you love me! (lol) Anywho, let me know what you think of this story!

One more thing! This Chapter is dedicated to _RenjisGirl12_ for giving me the inspiration to write! Thank you~!

Chapter 4: **Target: Ichigo**

Opening the door was the easy part. Once it closed behind me I felt exposed…vulnerable to the world I didn't know before and didn't know now. It had been several years since I had been here and in those years so much had changed…Some parts of the city had been destroyed- most likely done by Aizen himself when he lead his little demolition when I was KO-ed; some of the other buildings looked new and finally replaced by simple, yet effective architecture. Why the hell was I admiring the scenery? "Welcome back Grimmjow." I muttered to myself as I continued to scan the area. Nothing seemed familiar, except for the fact this was Karakura town, but other than that it seemed like I had landed on Mars- completely alienated. Hell, who knows…maybe I was on Mars- I did say I was a tad rusty on creating the door way from Hueco Mundo to the Human World. Well, damn. Unfortunately I didn't see any four-eyed, eight limbed critters running and scurrying about…so this was Earth and not Mars. No Martians today. Sad day…A sad day indeed.

Glancing around at the humans that strode easily past me without a second glance, I felt an anger rise up inside of me. They weren't paying any attention to me. Not at all. I was a fucking Espada for damned sakes! I had a gaping hole in my chest! I had a bone fragment on my cheek, and on top of that my looks were damn right amazing! So- oh…yeah. "I'm in this…this gigai? Was that what they called this thing?" Rolling my eyes, I swallowed a deep breath of air before I began to walk the side walks as if I were a mere commoner. Ha. If these roaches knew who they were walking beside they'd be begging for their lives right now! Grimmjow, I, wasn't to be taken lightly! I was a freaking Hollow! I eat these things for food!

But here I was playing the Hero.

That word left a bad taste in my mouth…I didn't even have to speak it and yet I still felt the grossness of the non-bad word. Bleh. And on top of that I was technically human for the time being. Human. Some part of me, I don't really know what part buried deep within, actually enjoyed the feeling of it. No one stared at me like I was some freak or a monster. No one coward in fear of me and my sight or abilities. But then that dominate side of me, the Espada, detested the mere thought of being human- _They are food Grimmjow…You aren't food. You are king. Show them Grimmjow! Show them what you are and why you are to be king of this realm! _Humph, how annoying was this damn voice in my head, telling me to rip these measly humans apart. As much as I wanted to- I couldn't and wouldn't. At least, I reasoned with myself, until I was done with this Hero gig and back as the bad guy. Why did I have to do this exactly? Oh, yeah- because I said I fucking would. What the fuck was going through my head at that moment? But then again…I could just forget about this mission and just waltz outta' sight; never to be heard from again. The dumb bastards gave me such room- leeway…as if they trusted me. Trust. Ha. Another word I was unable to really understand. No one understood that word in the world of Hueco Mundo, no one understood anything but power, ambition, greed, hate, and what not…

A very lovey-dovey place is it not?

Stopping abruptly on the side walk I felt oddly down, my spirits were at an all time low and my desire to really do…anything was as strong as the rock that I was about to step on. It didn't feel like moving and neither did I. Something didn't feel right. I felt…alone? Was that it? I never did care about such trivial things…so why now? All of the other Espada were dead… "I'm the only one left." I bluntly stated to myself. "I'm the last fucking one left." Of course there were other Arrancar now, and possibly new Espada chosen. But none of them were the former members of the squad that Aizen had led. I hated them all…or at least most of them. But still, I never did give a rat's ass about any of them- if they died or lived, but now… "I'm definitely losing it." I hissed under my breath as some people shot glances at me. I was in the middle of the side walk, muttering to myself. Great. Now the people of this place thought I was a complete loon.

Well, they weren't completely wrong…I was losing my mind. Or at least, so I thought-

Finally getting the will to move, my stride was easy, yet tense. I continued to walk around the city, attempting to pick up any clues to the where-abouts of the orange-haired annoyance. But to my dismay- nothing. Absolutely nothing. But then again, trying to find him here when his own friends couldn't locate him was a retarded idea. They were all born and raised here, so the first place they would've looked would have been here. So…where else would he go? Feeling more than irritable, I punched the closest thing next to me…which happened to be a human. He/she flew backward into the wall, landing on hit with a loud thud against it. "Shit!" I spat as I whirled around to see whom I hit (thank God…or whatever I am to thank I am in this gigai). The person was a male, his emerald green eyes stared up at me in a questioning manner, but he didn't say a word. There was no pain in his eyes, nor anything else for that matter. They seemed…vacant. The same vacant stare that belonged to…No. It couldn't be…

The male took a breath before asking, "Why did I deserve that stranger? Is it my turn?" His movements were very simple, graceful almost. Like it was easy to live. Easy to take a punch. Just like- "I take your silence as a yes." He murmured in reply as his fist made contact with my gut. Again, no emotion laced his face after he punched me- he did nothing but begin to walk away like this whole ordeal was something normal.

Staggering back, I couldn't tell if it was because I was in gigai that it hurt…or because he was- "Ulquiorra…" I breathed- how could he? All of the Espada were dead! And Ulqiorra never had a gigai. This _human _bore no mask fragment or the crushing spiritual pressure that the Fourth Espada possessed. So why the hell did he look so much like him? It was unnerving staring into his eyes…those demonic eyes that looked down on me for so many years. Those eyes that made me of all people feel insignificant.

"Who?" He asked his eyes still unfazed by anything. "I'm sorry, but you've mistaken me for someone else stranger." The man took another glance at me before turning his head away from me…

"Ulqirroa! It's me…Grimmjow!" I blurted before I really had a chance to think about what I had just said…damn I sounded completely desperate. It pissed me off- I wanted to punch myself in the gut for just saying that. Shaking my head I couldn't help but feel emotionally distraught. Maybe I was just seeing things and this guy really didn't look like him. But again why? I didn't care about him, or, hell, any of them!

"Grimmjow?" The other male quietly repeated while his unemotional eyes scanned me, "You remind me of some one." He finally said after a few moments as his hand went to his left pocket to pull out a vibrating phone. "Hello?" He asked into the phone- moments later his lips curved into a small (very small) smile while nodding his head as he listened to whomever was talking to him. "I'm around the corner." And with that a girl emerged after closing his cell phone. She bore long orange hair that complimented on her bright eyes- she seemed too happy for her own good. She was all smiles as she met up with the Ulqiorra look alike. That is…until her eyes met with mine.

"You…." She breathed, her eyes widened in disbelief and what seemed to be fear. For some reason I was really beginning to hate that look. I absolutely became drunk off of such a look before…_when I was an Espada. _When had so much changed? Was it because I slept for so long? No…Grimmjow you are just dreaming! That's it. This is all a dream and when I tell Ulqiorra about this later he will give me that non-feeling look and call me an idiot and walk away. That's what will happen. I know it will.

Yeah…right.

"You're that girl…" I responded to her one word sentence with a quiet tone of voice. "The one that Ichigo protected all those years ago." I wanted to get out of here. I didn't want to see anyone else that reminded me of the old days…I wanted things to be normal again. When I was feared (and I enjoyed it). When killing humans was a plus rather a minus. When I was actually an Espada and not some human loving hollow hippie! Dammit! Things were going down hill for me. Damn. Damn. DAMN. "I'm not after you…" I added hoping that expression plastered on her face would disappear when I extended the peace offering of good will. Ugh. This was just humiliating.

Like I had hoped her expression softened into a delicate smile. "I see…" She murmured as she held her hands in a child-like manner. She hadn't really changed much- the only difference was a scar that ran across her right cheek. From what I didn't want to know, nor did I wish to ask. Some things were better left unsaid. "Welcome to the human world then." She suddenly blabbed, the boy beside her only grinned at her innocence. It, to me, was irritating.

"Orihime, we should get going." The onyx haired male stated before he began to walk in the opposite direction of where I was standing. "We are about to be late for out reservation."

The girl nodded but stood next to me, "I'll follow you in a minute!" She called after him before turning my attention onto me. Her eyes locked with mine…it felt as if she were reading my very inner being. It felt damned weird, but I said nothing as she continued to say nothing. It seemed forever before she finally concluded, "You seem to be lonely." Before I could protest she then threw a curve ball at me, "He is Ulquiorra."

Looking back at her, my eyes narrowed. "First of all I am not the fuck lonely. Second- how the fuck can that be him? He's dead! They are all fucking dead and I'm the last one left! The only reason why I'm alive is because of that damn Ichigo who is no where to be fucking found!" I felt myself venting my anger out on this poor girl…she didn't deserve it, but I needed to badly take it out on something. She was just the unlucky one. Later I'd go kill some random Hollows. Hopefully it'd ease the tension at least a little bit.

Then the crying came.

I inevitably regretted taking out my frustrations on the girl. _Ha, Ichigo would have my balls for this. _I inwardly laughed at the thought, knowing full well, that Ichigo wouldn't do a damned thing. He was hiding from the world- God or whomever only knowing why. What ever it was- needed to wait because of this girl crying up a storm. "Look- I didn't mean to…" My voice trailed, not exactly knowing what to say to comfort her into stopping that horrid crying. Great, now I was being what they called 'nice' to her. Things continued to go down hill- as if falling down it was bad enough, now it was as if someone stuffed me in a tire and rolled me down.

The girl sniffled and looked up at me, "You mean it?" She asked her voice unstable and her eyes threatened to spew out fountains again.

"I- uh…." I had no choice, "Yea…"

"Oh okay!" She instantly went from gloom and doom to bright and happy. As if she had a switch that made all the bad and nasty disappear. I gapped at that, I could feel my eye begin to twitch at the sight as well. I was played. And played good. "Look, Grimmy, there is a lot to explain…" I grimaced at the nickname she gave me- Grimmy? What the hell kind of nickname was that? But again before I could respond with a witty come back, her voice became serious, "but to summarize, do you know what happen to Espada when they die?"

"The hell should I know?"

Her eyes motioned toward the direction the boy that looked like Ulquiorra had gone. "They lose all their memories and become human."

"That's so full of shit that it stinks." I pinched my nose to emphasize how much of this crap I believed. There was no way he was Ulquiorra. He was dead. Deader than a door nail as the ole' saying went. "I don't need your pity for me nor do I need this shit. I'm leaving."

Before I took a single stride, she grabbed my arm- "Grimmjow, that is him. I swear it." And with that, she released my arm before turning around to go her own way. The same way that 'Ulquiorra' had gone.

This whole ordeal really made me think. Could it really be him…? And if he weren't why would that girl be with him? "Whatever." Right now wasn't the time to dwell on the past. He was gone and that was that. Espada didn't become human after they died. When they died that was it. Growling, I took my leave. I would investigate on the matter later, for now, finding clues was priority number one. Ichigo had been gone a long time it seemed. The entire town all claimed his absence had been over a year when I had asked earlier in the day. For now: I wasn't making any progress. It was a damn stand still. AND what made matters worse was: I. Had. No. Money.

My stomach growled in reply to my thought. Eh, there should be some small fry Hollows about…I could eat those. Shaking my head, I knew there were more pressing matters at hand. Food wasn't one of them. I could last weeks without such. But, then again, I had only woken up a few hours ago…so who knew when the last time I ate was. "Shit." I cursed under my breath while following the path of the side walk until there was none left. "I'm lost as fuck."

"I think you could use a hand Grimmy." DAMN again with the nickname.

"Who-" I turned around to see a man with tattoos galore and bright red hair pulled back into a spiky (I do mean spiky) ass pony tail that could poke out an eye. His black kimono made it clear what he was. "Oh- its you."

"Renji. It's Renji. C'mon Grimmy say it with me! Re-n-ji." Again my eye responded by twitching. Later on I'd need to get it checked out, because it won't stop because of these people. And hell! I've only been awake for hours! It hadn't been a full day yet!

"I know who you are." I muttered as I attempted to ignore him. "And I don't need you're help!" The ignoring, unfortunately, wasn't going as smoothly as I had hoped.

"Look, Grimmjow, I can help- I've been looking for him too. And I think I've found something on his location." He grinned at me with his Renji-just-won grin. Ha. Sooner or later I'd smack that grin off his face and onto the concrete. I was really getting annoyed with all of these appearances. Like hell I wanted to see any of these people.

"What kind of information?" I asked anyway, I needed any kind of lead I could get my grubby little paws on. "It better be good." I threw in.

Renji's playful expression was now gone and his face was now hard, "I've been told that a lot of Hollows have been disappearing lately from here." He pointed at a location on the map he was showing me. "They say something has been wiping them out. And some have even claimed to see a orange haired boy…with a mask-" Renji then took in a sharp breath of air before continuing, "They also said he's been devouring them. In droves." Renji's eyes held a fear for his best friend…if this was truly him then things were not good. To be honest, I had no idea that this could be the reason why he had left…could the Hollow part have gotten the best of him? Is that why he sent the others away? And told them never to follow? What else was Ichigo hiding?

"We need to go now." I replied. "C'mon." I had already accepted the fact that this Renji was going…there was no stopping him and I did need the info he had already collected on his own time. It was much easier this way (at least for me).

The red head nodded, but then threw in, "Let's go back to Kiske's…I need some things before we go."

Growling, I crossed my arms and dealt with it. "It's almost nightfall any way. We will leave in the morning." I wanted to get this over with as soon as possible, but even with years of sleep, I was exhausted. My limbs weren't used to actually moving and whatnot, so resting a bit before leaving was a good idea. Sighing, I began to follow my newest team member toward this 'Kiske's' home...as I did so, my thoughts and fears began to float about in my mind. If worse came to worse…would we have to kill Ichigo? If he truly had gone berserk would that be so? My eyes went from the ground to the sky. At the moment only a single star lit it…and with that one star one of the memories with my childhood friend resurfaced. A chant about a single star in the sky…of course I couldn't remember it, but it still brought a smile to my face. At least something eased me finally.

_Star light star bright- the first star I see tonight…_

Chapter end~

Author's note:

WHEW this is the longest chapter I've ever written! And they continue to grow longer! ;D I hoped you enjoyed his chapter kiddies!

Let me know how you think the story is coming along! Thank you for reading~!

Next Chapter: **Monster**

~Corie


	5. Chapter 5: Monster

Author's note: I know it's been nearly a year and a half since my last update, but I decided I would continue this fan fiction, since I received the inspiration from the fact that Grimmjow may show back up in the new arc :D

Dedication: To the fans of this Fic, sorry it's been so long guys, but I promise to update more often now. And since 2010, I am now in college and on my way to become a doctor. My writing has improved, and I plan on coming out with a chapter at least once a week (to the latest a month). So, stay tuned and let me know what you think.

Fan of the Chapter: Strawberry-Ringo! Hope you like the chapter girl!

**Challenge**: After reading, please leave a review! Also, I am wanting to write a FanFic for one of my readers. If you can guess my favorite character aside from Grimmjow, you **win**! If you win I will write about any of your favorite parings~! :)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything! I just own the ideas is all!

Rating: M

Warnings: Cursing, Blood/gore

**Chapter 5: Monster**

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The walk towards this Kisuke's seemed so long and dreary. I wasn't so sure why I still felt so compelled to do this…to find that damned orange-haired menace. I was never one for loyalty, but was one for repaying debts, and unfortunately I had a large debt hanging over my head; something like a twenty ton boulder hanging on a single rope…and if I turned away, then SNAP.

Pancake Grimmjow.

I didn't want to be pancake Grimmjow, so returning this debt was something I had to do. More than anything, I hated debts. I hated owing that half hollow freak my life… "Why did you save me?" I heard myself ask the darkness that encroached on the light. My blue eyes went to the sky at that moment as the dark swallowed the sun's rays bit by bit. Bit by bit. Bit by bit. Until it was all gone, and stars now reigned supreme. What was I? Something that engulfed the light? As an Espada, that was true…my evil deeds lit up my ego and made my pride swell; as a hollow…as a creature I was able to do such things with a smile on my face. Destroying the good, and being praised to promote the torment.

Since when did my light as darkness become so twisted? I was now on the good side. Well fuck that! Damnit! I wasn't good! I was bad…I was evil. I loved the destruction, the decimation, the rampant killing, the everything that lead to something that spurned from the belly of darkness. Now look at me! Looking for the one man I wanted to kill so badly, I even had put my very life on the line several times for such an opportunity. He was the only damned one that looked upon me like I was nothing-like I was trash. Dirt. Low. Filthy.

I was king. I was superior. Yet, here I walk…as a human. A monster in wrapped in human form. Looking for the one I craved to fight with. Like ecstasy, I thrived on the will to fight. When I fought him, I could feel myself being tested like never before…My kinghood resting on my shoulders as I attacked him with everything I had. Fighting with Ichigo, I could feel each bit and piece of that king-like pride fall off my shoulders. He took everything me, and yet gave me much more. Fighting him was worth losing everything. Monster versus a monster…it felt as if I were more alive than ever as sword and claw collided. I could feel nothing but giddiness and complete bliss as we fought; there was something about fighting Ichigo that brought out something from deep within me. When we were engaged in the heat of battle…I felt as if I connected with that damned freak. Something within me clicked each time he met my blows, my walls crumbled to rubble with every parry, my life changed with each strike.

I never held a connection with anyone…

Except for…that boy from the dreams and perhaps realities of my human-hood. He was so strong, I could remember…always protecting others. Even…_me_? I couldn't remember him hardly at all, but something surfaced and some sort of instinct that struggled for dominancy within my overwhelmed little brain. What was that weird-ass feeling that made me feel some sort of concern for that carrot top? Why did I feel anything for him?

Heh, even with all this, it felt that I was now the dirt that his eyes had made me feel like. This realization struck me like a hammer to the cahones –such a blow made me want to fall over and stay there. Maybe me and the filth on the ground could get more acquainted that way, seeing we were one and the same.

Unintentionally, I let a growl escape my lips. My eyes went from the ground to the brightened skies. The moon and stars aluminates the darkness that swelled in my heart. Perhaps my darkness was becoming light. Maybe I _was_ changing. For the better? Perhaps. Did I like this change? Fuck no. But, what choice until my debt was paid did I have?

My mind went to Ichigo's eyes…they were so damn inticing. When his own monster within him took over, his eyes grew more and more dark and sinister. So, dominating. They were what ticked me off more than anything (well almost as much as the fact that I owed Ichigo), really…and intrigued me. What was it with the hollow freak that I was so damned interested in? The boy from so long ago came to mind…his eyes, too, were so damn endearing…dictating. Could it be those eyes are what drew me to him? To Ichigo? Who was it? What was going on?

And now…Ichigo had fallen prey to his demons had he? Could that even be possible? Was all of this some sort of ruse for me to go on some pointless mission to find the fre-Ichigo? "Damn these questions." I hissed as I walked quietly behind Renji who, too, was walking down the alley way in soft strides. Everything was peaceful as we walked…it felt so much different from Hueco Mundo. A walk like this would be like the dog across the street turning into a tentacle infested creature that longed to devour a princess from Norway.

The hell was a 'Norway?'

*Ahem*

Point proven: It was impossible. Even small fry hollows would try to attack at some time…stupid and utterly retarded sometimes they were. At least some of the stronger ones had some sense. But, it wasn't much in the least…Perhaps I was even that way at one point? Until I gained my consciousness, how long did I roam? How long was I just a mindless killing machine? Was I still one? Ha, again with all the questions…all with no answers. Sometimes I wondered why I even bothered to ask questions.

"Earth to Grimmy!" Renji called to me a few times until I realized I was being spoken to, "G-R-I-M-M-Y!"

Rolling my eyes, I let a grunt slip through my lips until I muttered, "What? And since when have you been all chummy with me Spikes?" It was true…from the get go, he seemed to be a bit too personal. I, ya know, only was an Espada like yesterday. Oh wait, that's right, I was knocked out for God only knows how long until now. Ugh, these people were going to be the death of me. Screw the hollows and other Arrancar. Might as well sign my second death certificate.

Renji's lips curved into a frown-smile as he walked backwards, "Humph, does that even matter Grimmy? In your condition right now…you couldn't even hurt a fly!"

Anger Gauge: 75%

I could have sworn I felt a vein somewhere pop, as my eyes narrowed dangerously on Renji, "The hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You have been out of commission for how long Espada?" He stopped walking and grinned like a child who won the 'Who's that Pokémon?' game. As good times as those where, Renji was provoking the Ex-Espada, me, but for what reason? "It's been quite some time since you've used your powers…so naturally, you'll have-"

Even in gigai, I nearly landed a punch to Renji's cheek which made the Soul Reaper nod with approval. "Not bad Grimms, but what else can you do as a _human_?"

Human? Me….? I wasn't human, and never again would I ever be human. I was a damned monster that still craved the thrill of the slaughter. And this damned Soul Reaper was testing me, too damn far. "I'll smack that smirk off your face and onto the concrete!" I roared as I charged at him, my fist ready.

Renji shook his head from side to side, "What is your deal? We have much more to worry about than this." He dodged my attacks one by one, making me grow more and more angered by the fact, I was …useless as a human. I threw in a final punch, in which Renji took in his hand, "Grimmjow, you're not proving anything by this." He threw my arm down and began to walk again. My eyes went to my hand; I had never felt so worthless and powerless. I hated this. Could so much power be gone from being unconscious for so long?

"_Grimmjow_…" A voice, eerie and amused erupted from the silence that the damned spiky hair left around me. "_You have grown so very weak!" _

Gritting my teeth, I looked around everywhere for the voice, but all I saw was the dog I had pointed out earlier. It wagged its tail and gazed up at me…as if wanting to be petted. My brow twitched at this… Damn thing. I was still a feline at heart, so this mutt was grating on me. "Shoo dumbass mutt." I muttered irritably as I began to go after Renji.

"_As hot headed as always."_ I heard the voice chuckle as something wrapped around my foot and one of my arms. Whirling around, I saw that the dog…well wasn't exactly a dog.

I couldn't help but smirk as I was held stead fast. "So, what do I owe this pleasure to?"

The dog morphed into a hollow, on the verge of becoming an Adujas. Well, looked like I was close about that assumption from earlier. He had sprouted tentacles…but-"You wouldn't be after a princess in Norway would you?"

The hollow's eyes narrowed, at the first question he replied, "I am often called Shiromaru,_ Lord _Grimmjow." And at the second question, it looked at me as if I were the one that sprouted tentacles.

Rolling my eyes, I looked over toward where Renji had gone, I was well, fucked in the state I currently was in. I was stuck in this human body…with no way to get out without that bastard's help. And currently he was gone. Missing. Right when I actually needed him too. Typical Soul Reaper. It was not really him that I was pissed off at…scratch that, I was, but it was more of the reality that I was just a regular human at the moment. Trapped and unable to escape. I was mad at myself…when had I fallen so low to become a play thing of hollows and Soul Reapers alike?

"_All you have to do when you are in your gigai is basically punch yourself in the stomach with this glove." She smiled a toothy smile as if nothing were wrong with punching myself in the gut._

Lucky for me I had the epiphany, and too bad my memory was so shitty, if I had remembered about the damned glove that that weird bitch had given me earlier, I would have kicked the SHIT out of that spiky head. Throwing my head back, I had to laugh, my hand on my face, I couldn't help but think about how much this would have come in handy earlier. Well, later was better than never.

Taking the glove from a pocket in my jacket, I slowly put it on. The hollow looked at me strangely, but growled, "You become so low Grimmjow…I still remember back when I was nothing but a mere soul, the first time I saw you I trembled with a fear that I have never known since. Yet, here you are, less than human."

At that comment, I laughed, nearly hysterically. "Oh? Less than human? Of course!" Just like the girl had said, I punched myself and just like that, I popped out of the human gigai. "**I am a monster**."

The hollow screeched and soon it all was over. Its blood covered one of my arms; and without resisting, my tongue lapped up some of the blood that trickled down my forearm. "Disgusting." I hissed, but continued regardless. My hunger to feast had peaked, and the blood was just too tantalizing to sacrifice.

Had I known Renji was watching the entire time, I don't know exactly what I would have done; but the Soul Reaper appeared shortly and huffed, "Congratulations. Looks like you can actually get out of your gigai." He clapped sarcastically, but the look on his face was not jovial like it was earlier. The look in his eyes confirmed my statement. I was, indeed, a monster. And now, he trusted me less than ever. But, I didn't care. My means of defense and offense were back, and now I felt my ability to actually find Ichigo improved all the more. Whipping the blood off of myself, I took a hold of my gigai and returned to being 'human'.

"Let's go." Walking forward, I didn't give Renji time to respond; I just walked. The walk was much quieter now. Neither of us spoke until arriving at Kisuke's. Neither of us wanted to, and Renji had seen my brutality…something that never bothered me before, and yet here I was, regretting my actions. What was happening to the old Grimmjow? What was happening to me?

"Ah! If it isn't my favorite mooch!" A man called as he waved a paper fan towards his face, his blond hair mostly hidden beneath the stripped green and white hat. "And what do I owe this visit?" His eyes went from Renji to myself; he gave me a careful look, until proceeding to say, "Ah, I see that you have brought Grimmjow! What a pleasure to finally meet you." I scoffed, and said nothing. Two little kids walked up, a boy and a girl. The boy glared up at me, and muttered to the blond, "Humph, this is that Espada guy? Why would Ichigo take care of a guy like hi-" He didn't have time to continue while I picked him up by the collar. "You should be respectful towards your elders." I grunted my eyes less than interested in all of this. I was tired. And something like a wounded animal. I just wanted to be alone.

The boy laid a punch to my face a few seconds before I chunked him towards Kisuke. The man dodged, and the boy flew into the home. This made Kisuke laugh, and the girl gasp and run to the boy's side.

"Hey! What was that-" I cut Renji off with a wave of my hand as I walked into the home. I was tired, annoyed, and wanted to be alone…the events today had made me think. The horrors I have done. The evil I bore. The hatred for the world. My arrogance lead me through so much… My eyes met with the boy, who looked away instantly. I walked past him and into an empty room. I sat down and leaned against one of the walls. "Who am I now?"

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Kisuke cocked his head and waved his fan, his smile just as crocked, "Hmmm, so he's Ichigo's last connection? So interesting that after all that happened that Kurosaki would care for him in such a way."

Renji nodded, "I agree with you. I have no idea what the hell he was thinking. That guy in there is nothing but a monst-"

Shutting his fan, Kisuke gave Renji a hard look. "You would be careful whom to label as a monster, Renji. You of all people should know that."

"I-well-uh…. Humph, maybe you're right."

"Perhaps, perhaps not."

"Have you heard anything about Ichigo?"

"Little, but from the map I've given you, that should be enough for a start. He was sighted last week by one of my colleagues there. Did you tell him about Ichigo's condition yet?" The last part, Kisuke's voice grew quieter and his eyes were much darker, Renji shook his head and sighed-

"No, I haven't entirely informed him."

"Was that wise?"

"I'm not sure yet…Is there anything wise about having him here?"

"Probably not…but he must have some sort of connection with Ichigo if he was spared and treated for by him."

"I just don't understand. Why?" Renji's eyes were filled with unsaid worry for Ichigo; his rival, his friend..."I want to know why Grimmjow is-"

Kisuke sighed and murmured, "Enough Renji, this isn't like you…now come inside and get what you need. Tomorrow will be your best chance in finding Kurosaki."

"I know…"

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My eyes closed, I began to drift between the dream world and reality. I was walking on a side walk, I was much shorter and everything seemed so faded, yet bright. In front of me, I could see someone running and calling, "C'mon -! Hurry up!" And just like that, I took off after the voice- I frantically ran and tried to catch up, but he continued getting further and further away, "Wait up!" I heard myself call, my voice much younger sounding. But, the boy continued to run; the path behind me began to turn black and was swallowed by some sort of abyss. I called out to the boy again and again, but he was gone.

Right when the abyss nearly had me, I slipped, but was grabbed by the boy I had been chasing. And pulled up and away from the darkness. "What where you doing -? You could have been a goner!" Without thinking my arms latched around the boy. "Hey - are you okay?" He asked his voice soft; I couldn't help but look up, his bright brown eyes stared back down at me, a bright smile on his face. His orange hair was nearly swallowed up by the sun behind it; this boy was so much like Ichigo…

Closing my eyes, I held onto my only memory as a human as if my life depended on it, "Don't go…" I heard my small voice plead to the boy, "I don't want to go…" He boy push me away, so that I would be forced to look at him. "I'll always be here for you! I will always protect you too…"

I nodded and the two of us smiled at each other. "It's a promise."

Just like that he disappeared, I was I darkness, with only one light shining down on me, growing dimmer by the second. I looked down at my hands, all to see blood covered them and my body. "Death?" I whispered as the light became smaller and smaller until, nothing.

"Monster…" I heard someone whisper, over and over, the voice growing louder and louder until…light again spurred, blinding me for a second. In my vision Ichigo was standing before me. I called his name, but he remained still. "Ichigo! You damn-" A roar erupted from the substitute soul reaper, a hole went through his chest, his hair lengthened, and his skin became a ghostly white. His face became something of a skull with horns. An aura emitted off him that reeked of raw power that made me tremble with a fear that I had never known. The creature screeched and charged at me, when I awoke I gasped and jerked myself off the wall. What was this feeling? Ichigo…what have you become?

Even though it was only a dream, I could feel there was much more to what I saw. The fear still remained in my very bones and the soul I had left.

Renji ran in and stopped to see me panting and looking like I had, as the old saying went, seen a ghost. "Wh-what the hell happened to you?"

"….."

"Answer me!"

"Ichigo…he's…"

Renji gave me an odd look, one that gave me an idea that he knew something that I didn't…or perhaps now knew. "What is it?"

"When were you going to tell me what _he _has become?"

Renji's eyes widened, he gave me a look that told me everything, "I… Couldn't at the moment."

"Why didn't anyone say anything? Why didn't four eyes either? Damnit!"

"Look, sometimes things should be found out one at a time…so I thought that-"

"That what? That it would be a good idea to hide the fact that Ichigo is as much as a monster as I am?"

The Soul Reaper visibly cringed, but growled back, "He is not a monster!"

"Stop deluding yourself Spikes, you know just as much as I do…" My sentence then slipped from my lips until I realized…the reasoning to why I had Ichigo appear in my 'dream.' "Ichigo is close…" I realized…my own eyes widened, what could I do? Why was I here? Why did Ichigo care? Did I care?

The boy from my memory made me remember some sort of promise. But what…who was it? Damnit, "Renji…we need to find Ichigo. Now."

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Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed this Chapter! :) Don't forget about my challenge!

Next Chapter: **Encounter**


	6. Chapter 6: Encounter

_Author's note:_ I hope you enjoy this week's addition! :D Sorry it was a little late…I am now working on top of being a full time college student. Whew! Lol

Dedication: To all of my fans! Thanks for the 3300+ views!

Fan of the Chapter: DeanBeans13 Your review was hilarious and I just had to dedicate this chapter to you!

****Challenge**: After reading, please leave a **review**! Also, I am wanting to write a FanFic for one of my readers. If you can guess my favorite character aside from Grimmjow, you **win**! If you win I will write about any of your favorite parings~! :) ******

Disclaimer: I don't own anything! I just own the ideas is all!

Rating: M

Warnings: Cursing, Blood/gore

Warnings(future): This is a **YAOI**, it will have _steam_~ I promise. Be patient as the story develops kiddies~

Chapter 6: Encounter

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"Now? Grimmjow are you out of your mind?" Renji took a deep breath before he laid into me again and again about going after Ichigo. Pacing in front of me, up and down the room, I swear he was going to make my ass dizzy. If that was even possible. Tomato, tamato I suppose. "There is no way-" He began until he gripped his temples and continued, "We can't do it…now."

"And why the hell not?" Getting my ass off the ground, I stood over Renji and bore down on him; my growled response seemed to make him take a step back. His eyes widened at my seriousness of the matter at hand; his hand instinctually went to the hilt of his sword as he stared up at me. This little action of his made my growl turn into an all out snarl, "And what are you going to do to me Soul Reaper?"

"Back off Grimmjow…" He uttered while returning a grunt, his left hand now on the scabbard, right ready to draw his Zanpakto in a moment's notice. "-Calm down."

"Who are you to tell me to calm down?" I hissed in response, my anger gauge rising, "Ichigo is fucking close! Or are you fucking deaf?"

"I heard you, you damn idiot!" He yelled back, "But what can we do right now?"

"The fuck do you mean? Wasn't that the whole reason I was brought here? Kept alive? To find HIM?"

"I don't fucking know why you are alive! I don't know why Ichigo took care of you and I don't fucking care! It's not like I took care of you! Damnit!" He threw up his hands and wailed like a banshee by now, "I don't know your purpose here just as much as you! But Ichigo is like nothing I've ever seen…or fought!" He grew quiet as something within me was beginning to boil and seethe, I felt like a freaking smoking volcano…just keep pushing my buttons Renji. I DARE you. "He is…"

"A monster." I growled as I remembered the hollow-like being had I seen within the dream entwined with memories. The way Renji was speaking to me made me feel just like Ichigo in the sense, that this label was just slapped down upon us with no will or say. Ha, I guess we were just wild animals after all. This little outburst of mine had made Renji shut up for a few moments until he roared back at me-.

"He's not a monster!"

"Still denying the fact that he and I are _alike_ I see?" Were we really? Was that boy I had fought with back in Hueco Mundo the same as now? How different had he become that would make Renji act in such a way? Something had obviously had happened…something big in my absence.

That little reply of mine seemed to make him bust a nut which in turn made him jump clear across the room and grab me by the collar, "HE IS NOTHING LIKE YOU!" He hissed as he attempted to get me to cave in some sort of way. My cocked grin, told him something otherwise.

"Then explain to me Renji… what you call him then?" I had asked him in response to this; I knew that I was pushing _his_ buttons now. An eye for an eye I suppose. Or could it be I was just being an ass? …..Nah of course not.

"I-!" He couldn't continue, his voice stopped dead, and he realized, he had nothing to say in return to my question. His eyes were wide with some sort of shock or realization to this, his clenched fists and down cast look made me wonder what he _had _seen.

Letting out a deep, annoyed sigh, I grunted and ran one of my hands through my hair, "We have to go find him. I can sense his reiatsu."

Renji bit his lip and remained silent, it was his dreary silence was just pissing me off more and more as each second ticked by. I was ready to find Ichigo, repay my debt and be done with this whole damn operation of being the good guy. I wanted everything to go back to normal. But…could that really happen?

Did I even want to return to the person I was back then?

Finally having enough of this, I growled and stuck my index in his face-"Fine, if you are too scared to face him I'll go by myself! 'Yer fuckin' pathetic." Turning around, I was true to my word and began to go in the direction of this feeling…this aura that even made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Did even I want to go against this alone? And not to mention…I was barely even _alive _24 hours ago. Shit I mean really…I hardly even could move then too. Which reminded me…I needed to kill Nel one of these days for that 'lovely' wake up call.

"HEY!" Breaking away from my thoughts, I turned to see Renji right behind me, he looked…well, rather ticked. Probably that last comment I left. Good ole' Grimmy always has to get the last say right? And that, my friends, was a way of thinking has gotten me into plenty of trouble over the years. Wouldn't have it any other way I suppose.

Rolling my eyes, I grunted, "What do you want? You obviously don't have the balls to go and find Ichigo yourself. Don't tell me you have a change of heart all of a sudden- or maybe you spontaneously grew a pair when I was unaware?"

I turned my head and I kept walking at this point, Renji would be of no use to me if he were shaking like one of those small ass dogs that are scared of anything and everything when we went up against Ichigo. Damn those things were annoying. Especially those…Taco Bell looking dogs. Ugh. "I expected more from you, Soul Reaper."

"More of what? What do you want me to say? That I _want_ to fight Ichigo?" I could visibly see Renji grinding his teeth, his hands in clenched fists. But his shaking had yet to stop…he was so contradictory. Looking fierce on the outside, and frightened beyond imagination on the in. Humph, I could smell his fear a mile away.

"Look at you," I grunted, stopping my stride, "Yer' trembling like a child just at the mere thought of facing him. Are you that scared of your so called _friend?_ Why is it against me you just stand still like nothing is wrong? What is stopping me from turning on you and the entire faction you represent?" It was true? I could turn on them in a heartbeat…the only one I owed anything to was Ichigo. To this red head I owed nothing.

"What is stopping you?" He asked dangerously, his eyes sharp, "Go ahead Grimmjow...just try to turn on us." If that wasn't a dare slapping me across the face I didn't know what was.

Renji just made a very big mistake.

"Do you think you are high and mighty soul reaper?" I hissed, my eyes growing dark and angry. "How dare you test me…"

As if seeing what he had done, Renji tried to back up, but it was too late, my thoughts were all on him; and proving to him that I was my own boss and owner. That I could do whatever the hell I wanted. "Grimmjow…" He began, his voice low, "Don't."

"Something tells me you are _trying_ to make an enemy about me." I approached him, growing closer and closer- the hatred and malice growing in the core of my being. I wanted to be my own person. I wanted to be strong and…and what? All of these questions…without so many answers also added towards me frustrations. I was tired…so very tired of it all, already.

As I approached, Renji readied himself and held steadfast to his sword and scabbard- Ready to draw. Again. "Stay back Grimmjow." He uttered, not answering my question about making me an enemy.

Stepping before him, I could feel something within me snap as my fingers instantly snaked around his neck, a broad smile then tugged at the corners of my mouth. My growls became something like laughing hysteria, "You think you scare me? I am superior! You…you groveling worm are nothing!" My voice sounded so...evil now…so angry. Like the monster I was, my voice could even make Aizen turn and run. The way I sounded, I couldn't help but be…scared.

Of myself.

What was a monster?

Was a monster what children are scared of under their beds? Was a monster what hid in the closet? Was it something that made dreams become nightmares?

What was I?

Was this a nightmare?

Continuing with this, I dug my fingers into his throat, even in my gigai, I could feel my powers begin to surge, and the tighter and tighter my grip grew. "You think you Soul Reaper filth have any jurisdiction over me?" I sneered with some sort of jovial malevolence, "I was spared on a whim! A whim both you and that damned Ichigo will regret!"

What was I doing…?

Honestly, even I had no idea what in the _holy bloody freakin' hell_ I was doing. But for some reason, a wave of emotion trampled over my reason. I felt…was it truly? What was this feeling that felt like it literally crawled and slithered up my spine up into my head? Now in the confines of my mind, I could feel it slowly and then rapidly taking over my body. This…_fear_ drove me nearly mad. Fear for what? For Ichigo? For me? My own fear must have turned to a furious anger; my rational side knew that Renji deserved maybe half of this, but the spark of fear that welled in his eyes brought me an ease for some sick reason I couldn't understand.

He pushed me away, well at least he tried, "Let go of me!" He choked out, as he grew more desperate to get away from me. What sort of desperation was it, however?

"I can comply with that." I heard myself answer as I threw him; he landed with a sick thud against the wall that made me internally cringe.

The red head, even still, held a fire in his eyes when he picked himself off the ground, that reminded me of the orange head. It made my blood heat up and my thoughts take a turn that only made my mind go into another state of chaos. "So, you do _want_ to fight me! To make an _enemy _out of me! Admit it Soul Reaper! You never trusted me and never will!"

Without a second thought, Renji removed his sword from his scabbard and pointed it straight at me; his eyes held some sort of emotion that I couldn't quite deduce. What exactly was he feeling? It surly didn't look like fear anymore. And that damn right pissed me off! He should be scared! Scared of me! Why the fuck wasn't he? Why wasn't he showing me his fear anymore?

Who was saying that within me?

Me? Or…_me?_

"Where?" I could feel my energy swirling, gnawing and lashing out now. Almost looking like blue flames, it built up and grew around me. Nearly engulfing the room, the flames consumed everything in its path, and without warning, it struck out, sending Renji flying backwards and, forcing to ground him. "Where is your fear?" I roared at him, "Show me! Show me your fear!" Taking out the glove I pushed myself out of the damned gigai; when I emerged I felt…empowered. I felt like the old Grimmjow.

No…Something wasn't right. I felt…wrong.

But why didn't I like the return of my powers as they surfaced? The return of my old demon like self…was awkwardly unwelcomed. Where was my giddiness and readiness to fight? It felt as if it were gone like a sheet to the wind. If that made any fucking sense. I was alive…I was here. And _didn't_ want to fight. Ha, the old me would have a kick out this. I can hear myself now:

"_Who the fuck are you?"_ I'd say to the me now. _"The hell is wrong with you? You don't want to fight? Ha! That's fucking funny!"_

Earlier I had wished for my powers to return, but now I felt as if they were a hindrance; as if I didn't want them.

"_The fuck you saying?" _My past me roared, "_Are you insane? Maybe being asleep for so damn long has fucked you up beyond repair!"_

Maybe that was true. I was different. Something had changed.

This feeling left me…hollow (irony?). It was an emptiness that made me want to scream out…to attack? To attack what? The red head before me? Did it really matter who? Or was it that there was so much more that I was missing? Who did I want to scream out to?

Him? To Ichigo? To the boy from my memories?

The Soul Reaper, still on his knees, looked up at me with eyes that forced me stop and just stare, I felt so with held by those eyes. They said much more than his words ever could. _Monster. Devil. Demon. Fiend. _Each meant the same thing; each made me writhe with some sort of self loathing. The look made me wish something that I had never thought of before…maybe more than anything I wanted my humanity back. I wanted to be with…_him_.

Who was I?

Who was Grimmjow?

"I'll make you pay for that…" Renji whispered as he stood, "Roar…ZABIMARU!" He shouted as his sword lengthened and came towards me, faster than I had anticipated. It grazed my shoulder when I had dodged it- sending the sword crashing through one of the walls. Retracting back, he flash-stepped forward and swung again-colliding with my own sword. He roared and pushed his sword with all his might. Why was he fighting? I wondered as I searched his eyes for answers. Was it all for Ichigo? Was he only defending his friend…? Who was Ichigo to me…other than my savior? Why was I fighting?

Did I really want to be here? Why was I saved?

Without warning, he jumped back, and within the same second he sent his sword flying towards me again, I parried, but I felt lifeless with each blow that I blocked or countered. The strength I backed up in my sword was nothing. It was as if I was being drained by my own uncertainties. Fan-fucking-tastic right?

Really, before I even knew it, Renji was nearly in my face, pressing his sword to my neck. "You son of a bitch…I knew it. You're nothing but a damned Hollow! I knew Ichigo was wrong to save you!"

Growling, I glared down at him, "You know…" I took the sword with my hand and began to push it away, "I agree with you." Somewhere between the madness, I had calmed down, my actions my own.

"The hell is that supposed to mean?"

My voice became quiet for a few moments, my blood began to coat the blade as Renji tried pushing it back to my neck; I didn't know what to say at this point. I didn't even know what to do. I had basically just told Renji that I wanted death. That I _needed_ it. Ichigo had no right to save me…to take care of me. My thoughts went to the boy, who had promised to protect me…and that I would protect him. "I've failed…" I whispered, my eyes went to Renji's, "You're right."

Confused, the Soul Reaper gritted his teeth and pushed his sword harder, "What are you mumbling about?"

My strength drained, I could feel the sword getting closer and closer to my throat, and for some reason- I allowed it, nor did I care as my death drew nearer. If that girl…Orihime was right, I would become a human. Did I want to become human? Closing my eyes, my inner demons began to scream and cry out; my hollow side began to screech and roar at me to rethink what I was doing. The problem was…I _was_ thinking.

At the cost of losing my memories and my power, I would gladly give my power. However, I would give everything except the memories of my human friend. To find him was all that kept me going. So, until I found him as an Arrancar…no an Espada. Ex or not, I was one of the top dogs and there was no way I could be put down now. Not now…

I had to find _him_.

I had to find _Ichigo_.

I had a debt to pay and damnit I will not go down until I did both of those things!

With renewed energy, my gashed hand pushed Renji back- My eyes opened and held a new light. A new fire that gave fuel to the power that rushed out of me as Spikes tried to withstand my massive strength gain. I felt like a fire that was kindled with a barrel of gasoline dumped on it. I could feel my power grow as Renji gazed back at me, more shocked than words could express.

"I can't die yet…." My voice was low until I roared again, "I WILL NOT DIE!" At that moment my power spiked and threw Renji back and through the wall this time. Lashing out everywhere I felt so…formidable as my dormant power awakened within me yet again. I felt the want to change; to shift into my truest form; but I held it back and allowed myself to calm down until my reiatsu faded back and returned to normal.

"My, my!" I heard a voice from the other side of the gaping hole in the wall, "Look what happened here!"

A smirk formed on my face and I laughed somewhat, "Sorry Mr. Hat, I had a weird tick that made me _accidently_ send Renji through your wall. He just had to provoke it…"

The man 'ah-ed' and nodded, "I see, so this is the mooches' fault. Well, I'll just at this to the debt you owe me Renji." He waved his fan and laughed as he looked down at the swirly-eyed spike head. "No one has knocked him around like that since he fought with Ichigo I bet."

"Sure," I agreed, more side tracked to really be paying attention.

"So, might I ask why you are out of your gigai?" The man gave me a look, a look only he had, that he made at me once before. This look got my attention.

I grunted and closed my eyes, and gave him a smirk, "Does it matter?"

"Seeing Renji knocked out and through a wall, MY wall, I can say it does." He replied and gave me a second dark look when I opened my eyes.

I tried to act like it didn't affect me, but I could see that this man was contemplating something behind those eyes of his. What was this man thinking? There was something that dwelled in the back of his mind. What was it? What is going on? "I told you what happened." Rolling my eyes, I continued, "He deserved it."

The man was quiet for a little while and then smiled. How he switched from such a dark persona to a light was beyond me. He was almost…or maybe even better than that Orihime girl when it came to switching emotions. That was something I clearly didn't understand.

"I got it!" He exclaimed while he walked up towards me, a large smile across his face appeared as he snapped his fan shut.

"Got…what?" I asked suspiciously, this man seemed a little more than just sketchy.

He tilted his head and hummed before replying, "It's a surprise!"

"Typical Urahara." Renji grumbled from the rubble, "Leave me to do your dirty work…"

"Oh? You're finally awake?" He mused, after a small laugh, "You did well Renji. Even if you were smacked around a _little_ more than I had anticipated."

"Anticipated my ass. I bet you enjoyed it."

"To be honest, I kinda di-"Quicker than I ever saw Renji move, he landed a fist into Kisuke's cheek- Well, it seemed that way, until the image of him disappeared and Renji fell forward. "Tsk tsk Renji! That wasn't very nice of you!"

What was going on? Why wasn't Renji trying to attack me again? And what had he done to be given a 'good job' about? "The _hell_ is going on?" I finally muttered, crossing my arms and watching Kisuke beat Renji with his walking stick. "What do you mean he did 'well'? Well with what?"

My eyes darted from Mr. Hat n' Clogs to Renji, who rolled his eyes and just supported his head up with his hand, "You really are an idiot aren't you?"

A growl left my lips, "Are you trying to pick another fight with me?"

"Again you still DON'T get it! You are so _easy _you know that?"

"Easy about what?"

Urahara cut in with a laugh and a wave of his fan, "Grimmjow, think about it…Use that thing in your skull called a brain."

"_That _does not help." I emphasized the 'that' and crossed my arms with a huff, this was all so damn confusing I couldn't follow any of this. "Why should I even care about any of this? Damnit, I'm gonna go find Ichigo, repay my debt, and go back to being…"

"Being who Grimmjow?" I heard Kisuke mention behind me after I turned around.

I spun around and couldn't help but yell at the man, "That's none of your damn business!"

"Hmmm," He sighed and looked down at Renji, "Renji, go on. Tell him."

The red spike head grumbled and finally got up, once his eyes met mine, he frowned, "When I found you Grimmjow, what was on your mind?"

"I was looking for Ichigo. What of it?"

Renji shook his head and leaned against the wall behind him, "On your mind was powerlessness. You looked like a lost puppy when I found you. Even after killing that Hollow, you looked more than less than the Espada I remember. The one I _had_ feared."

"Spit out your god damned point!" I didn't want to hear this…I didn't want to hear how utterly _weak_ I looked. How astray I looked. How low could I be to fall this far? Or was I even falling?

Renji growled and continued, "You had that same damned look in your eyes that Ichigo had…ones that bore the heaviness of defeat. You had given up Grimmjow! So all I did, you baka, was bring out your will."

My eyes widened, I couldn't believe what he was saying. Everything he had yelled, everything he spat in my face- it was all to anger me and get me to wake up. To see what I was fighting for and why. "My…will?" I nearly whispered as I looked down at my hand and back up at Renji. He did have a point, even if the bastard had played the part…rather too well. I felt a renewed energy and my will to find Ichigo was stronger than before. My will to…._live_ was back.

"You see Grimmjow, he only did it to help you. He may not look it, but he's a softy on the inside~!" Kisuke smiled and only laughed when an embarrassed flush appeared on Renji's face, who in turn, tried to attack him again.

Watching them go at it again, I couldn't help but experience some sort of foreign feeling that began to spread throughout my body. I felt a laugh, a heartfelt laugh escape- the moment it escaped; however, I caught myself and tried to shrug off what I truly felt. Perhaps a smidge of happiness had found its way inside of my heart…well, of the heart I had left.

Damn it to hell…I hated being all mushy gushy. I blame Ichigo…he must have planned this from the start. Turning me into this goody goody. Clenching my fist, I vowed to give a big ole' punch to that orange noggin of his.

When I opened my eyes Kisuke and Spikes were both staring at me with surprise that soon turned into some sort of mischievous smiles- as if they accomplished a great feat. Then again…maybe they had.

"What?" I tried to look annoyed, although I wasn't so sure it was working.

"It looks like he is ready for Part Two!"

"Part Two?"

"Yep."

"Of whaaaat?" I drew out the 'a' in that…I really didn't want to know what he had in store for me. My mind already felt mentally raped by that trick Renji pulled. Damn that put me through some stress.

"You'll see."

I didn't like the sound of that.

"Follow me." Was all he said after that, and without much choice, I did. "Why are we not going after-"

"Hush hush hush Grimmjow! All in good time!"

"What he means is you are too weak right now to really do much good for _him_." Renji answered before I could muster any sort of come back to Kisuke.

God…these two were going to give me an aneurism. I could already feel it coming. Maybe I should welcome it with open arms at this point. But, maybe they were right. I didn't know what we were up against- and the feeling I had of Ichigo being close was now quickly fading. What could I do if I took off after him now? What good would that do for him? Or for me?

Hmmm…maybe this is what it means to use one's brain.

Damnit…I just made a joke about myself. It was then when Kisuke stopped walking, making me abruptly bumping into Renji. "The hell?" I glared at him, but he only grinned with a child-like evil. God, I really did hate children (insert shudder here).

"This is the second part of your _awakening_!" With this little declaration he opened a door from the floor and pointed.

"My wha-"

KICK

And down the rabbit hole I went.

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Author's note: Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Sorry it took so long…so much for weekly right? Haha…well, school has been hectic, so sorry about that! GOMEN my readers! GOMEN! The next Chapter will be PRETTY DAMN INTENSE so, stay tuned!

_**Next Chapter_: **Memories ****


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